I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
