How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
