just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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