census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
