wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
