Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
