ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
