I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
bring money and cleavage
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
