I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize