shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
