I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
