I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
