Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im holly from the hills drunk
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
