Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He did a backflip because drugs
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