worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
