He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
