I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and she was petting her beer can
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
