Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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