Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
