Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
