I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to have your abortion
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
