marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
