I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
