wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
