I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Randomize
