he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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