Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
