Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize