so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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