She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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