By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
