do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
