Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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