college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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