Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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