Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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