i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i love accidental penises.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
