I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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