The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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