; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
