I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
