Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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