He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Found your dick twin last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
