do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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