Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
