you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
