I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
