before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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