oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
