Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
