This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
