i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
