i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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