I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Im part way to drunk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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