you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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