Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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