She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
