He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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