I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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