Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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