someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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